Whether you are a boater yourself (I hope) or have a special boater in your life, there are some ways to show you speak the language, the boater’s love language that is. In relationships, there are five types of love languages (as developed by Gary Chapman): words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. During the month of love, let’s see if we can break these down for the boating world.
1. Words of Affirmation
Expressing affection through spoken words, praise, compliments, or appreciation. Examples of this could include: “You docked that boat like a pro! (and didn’t yell once),” “I’m so proud of you for navigating to a new-to-us harbor (and not running aground).” Or, if we want to ditch the sarcasm, “I’m so proud of you for learning a new skill,” “Thank you for giving me an amazing day on the water,” “I love that boating is a hobby we can do together.”
And even though this goes against the very definition of “words of affirmation,” I would add that showing your love in this way can also mean knowing when silence is needed. There are a million funny T-shirts, stickers, etc. that say something along the lines of “forgive me for what I said when docking the boat.” Open communication might be the hallmark of a healthy relationship, but sometimes silence shows how much you really care—that you understand your partner and respect their need for quiet in certain situations (i.e. docking the boat, backing down the boat ramp, etc.).
2. Acts of Service
Doing helpful things for your partner such as chores, running errands, or taking care of tasks, to show you care. This one’s easy because as any boater knows, there is always something to be done when it comes to boat ownership. Offer to help paint the bottom of the boat in the spring, be prepared to give it a good washdown after an outing, volunteer to wax the hull… the opportunities to lend a helping hand are practically endless.
If you or your partner don’t own a boat but are invited out with friends, never show up empty-handed. Always ask if there’s something you can contribute ahead of time; this could be drinks, snacks, or even money for fuel. If the captain insists it’s not necessary, you can still bring at least one thing, however small, that could be shared (this could be as simple as a bottle of sunscreen or bug spray). The main point is, contribute something to the outing (and you just might be invited back out).
3. Receiving Gifts
Valuing thoughtful presents as tangible symbols of love, not necessarily expensive items, but tokens that show you were thinking of them. Another easy one—attend any boat show or fishing expo and you’ll find umpteen gadgets and gear items to add to your wish list or that of the boater in your life. These gifts can be as big as a new stereo or even new water toys like a wakeboard or kayak, or could be smaller but just as useful items such as a set of dedicated boat towels, water shoes, or new lines. To really show you care, the best thing you can do is make sure your boater is outfitted with necessary safety gear. This could include a new PFD, VHF radio, or a wet or dry suit if they paddle during the cold weather months. I also personally swear by my Garmin inReach Mini which can be used to trigger an SOS message to first responders in an emergency.
4. Quality Time
Giving someone your focused, undivided attention, engaging in meaningful conversations, or doing activities together. I might be biased, but it’s truly hard to beat spending quality time with your loved ones on a boat. Whether it’s visiting a waterfront restaurant for lunch, rafting up with fellow boaters at your favorite anchorage, or enjoying a romantic sunset cruise with your partner—it’s hard to be in a bad mood when out on the water together.
To take it one step further, this can also mean taking the time to teach your loved one necessary skills, both so they can become a more competent boater but also so that they are prepared in case of an emergency. If you are always the “captain” and never teach your partner how to drive the boat, dock, or launch/retrieve your boat from the boat ramp, they won’t be much help if you are incapacitated (through no fault of their own). It is your responsibility to prepare them, so that you are both safer while out on the water.
5. Physical Touch
Expressing love through physical closeness, such as hugs, holding hands, a pat on the back, or cuddling. My boat is not set up for overnighting onboard, but my husband and I love camping, and we often joke that if you can survive sleeping next to your partner in a tiny space without a shower, you know it’s true love. The same goes for boats—whether you are overnighting or not, most boats are smaller than a house and thus encourage closeness. My advice? Don’t run from it; embrace it. Just save the hand holding for after the boat is safely docked.
With Valentine's Day right around the corner, it's the perfect time to show how much you care about the special boater in your life.
By Kaylie Jasinski